the sleepwalking hubby: contacts & glasses

This is a draft of a post I for some reason never posted. I wrote it almost two years ago and it is just too good to not share. Enjoy 🙂

Sometimes I am pretty lazy when Tim gets up and starts roaming around the house. I just try to listen to what he is getting into. One night I was laying in bed while he was in the bathroom and I hear him drop something small and plastic onto the sink. I quickly realize he is trying to put in his contacts. I guess he was just slipping into his morning routine… only at 1 AM (side note: I wonder if he is sleepwalking some mornings when he gets up and that’s why he gets so irritable with me). I knew this would never be good, so I rush in there and tell him to put down his contact case and come back to bed. He gets ticked off at me (which he normally does while sleepwalking and I prevent him from doing something he is trying to do) but does as I ask.

I get back to bed before him. When I see him coming back into the bedroom he has my glasses on. Now this is hilarious to me for two reasons: 1) he has glasses on that are noticeably feminine; 2) he is blind as a bat and what I see is barely fuzzy. There is no way my glasses are doing anything for him. So I asked him, “Why do you have my glasses on?” He said he couldn’t find his own and mine were right there. This is very suspicious to me since I know that I left mine on my bedside table. Since the bathroom is on his side of the bed that meant he got up, came to my side of the bed to get my glasses, and then walked back to the bathroom. There is no logic to this to me. So I asked him if they were actually doing anything for him (oh yeah, I can have a full conversation with him in his sleep… no one would really know he was sleepwalking but me b/c he looks totally awake). At that point, he gets mad takes them off and comes back to bed. Aaand now he is done talking with me.

I used to lay there confused staring at him, but now I usually just have a laugh and go back to sleep. It is always followed by us waking up in the morning and me asking, “Do you remember anything from last night?” That is just never a good question to be asked. Do you see what I am dealing with here? I swear, when we have kids, between them and Tim I will never get to sleep.

bad one on me…

Since I use my husband’s “oops” moments pretty often to share a bit of comedy with you, I figured I would tell on myself at least once. But don’t get used to this 😉

Yesterday I had a City Services Day with the local Chamber of Commerce Leadership Program I am a part of. We visited the local landfill, recycling center, water treatment plant, fire hall and police station. Most definitely the favorites of the day were the fire station and police station. At the fire hall the fire fighters demonstrated cutting a car open and another demonstration with them crawling through a tight space with wires hanging everywhere dressed in all of their gear. They even let me dress in full gear… which about weighed me down! (Pictures to come on that one). At the police station the favorite part was trying on the drunk goggles and trying to walk a straight line. You can see a poor kid trying an obstacle course with them on here. I actually did well with those and didn’t stumble at all… to which none of my classmates liked b/c I think they were counting on my to be the clumsiest of us all.

After the day of touring city services, Tim came to pick me up (we only have one vehicle right now). While telling him about the fire hall I told him that I might have to buy fire fighter gear for him. After staring at me for a long moment, he said, “maybe you shouldn’t have told me that one”. What?! I’m just trying to have an honest relationship here! 😉

you’ve got a nose like a horse! I mean….

Have you ever said something that totally meant to be comforting but backfired, horribly? Tim did the other day, and I am here to let you all know about it… and laugh with you 🙂

Saturday when Tim gave me a hug I put my face against his neck. He said to me that I had a cold nose. Later on that evening he gave me another hug and said my nose was still cold. Then he said (this is where it gets good), “It’s probably because it is SO big!”. I then have a look on my face like, “What the…?” You could almost see the wheels turning in his head while he was trying to figure a way out of this little predicament. He said, “I mean, it’s far away from your face… like a horse!” I then started to slowly back away. Even though I knew he didn’t mean it, it still stung a little, all the while being hilarious. He said, “I only said that b/c you say your nose is big!”. I truly did not know how to react. After him panicking for a couple of minutes and not letting me out of our hug, we finally just laughed it off.

But seriously… who says that?! So me and my extra large schnoz will be milking Tim’s slip up for awhile 🙂

the sleepwalking hubby: calling poison control

At this point in our marriage, I am a really light sleeper. I have to be. Tim has gotten into some crazy things. Like the time I woke up and he had incredibly good breath (especially for morning breath). I thought that was odd, but didn’t really think much else about it. That is until I went into the bathroom and saw the Listerine I just bought that week was now half way gone. Oh no. With Tim and his sleepwalking, sometimes you have to be a little open minded when figuring the events of the previous night out (wow that sounds like he is a drunk… I can assure you he is not). I don’t remember how we figured it out, but we deduced that he had drank the Listerine. Great. Can I just say no matter how you put it, the people at poison control will continue to ask questions to figure out exactly what happened. And when they found out it was my husband, a grown man, who had drank this possibly hazardous liquid, well they just had to know why. So then I find myself in a conversation about how bad my husband’s sleepwalking is and she begins to give me advise about locking things up at night. She actually wanted me to put child safety locks on everything. Let me just say that would only tick him off. He has a very short temper while sleep walking.

He ended up just fine. This was actually about a year ago. Since then I have found out that he most likely did NOT drink the Listerine. He actually rinses his mouth out every time he gets up during the night. Which is about 2-3 a night, whether it be to pee, or get a late night snack (which he also does in his sleep).

I will tell you that the more interesting stories are when I move the bedroom furniture around. It took me almost two years to realize that my love of rearranging the bedroom furniture (no really, I have done this all of my life, no clue why) and his sleep walking don’t really make a good match. One of them had to go. And sense I don’t think he has any control over his, I reluctantly gave up my little hobby. He has after all run head first into walls before because of this. Now, I have no idea WHY he was running in his sleep, but I promised I would keep the furniture in the same place after that.

Incidentally, I find this pretty comical… hence me sharing it with you 🙂

I love my family :)

Tim, me, Diana, Necie, Megan & Josh

This is Tim (my husband), me, Diana (my sister), Necie (my other sister), Megan (Josh’s girlfriend) and Josh (my brother). I love them! We have so much fun together.

I went to visit the family in Nashville this past weekend. Josh works in construction management in Houston, TX building hospitals. Since he was going to be in, and I hardly ever get to see him (or Megan), I thought Tim and I should go see them and the rest of the family. We have so much fun when we are together.

Also, what you don’t see is my mom taking the picture. There is just a load of hilarity in that itself. She goes to aim the camera, and starts admiring the camera…forgetting about taking the picture. 😉

I love my family 🙂

So cute!

This is a forwarded e-mail I got today from my mom. I thought it was really cute and wanted to share. Enjoy! 🙂

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’ My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.

Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Have you seen this?

Because it is hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kuWo02QPHI%5By

Dancing makes my heart happy :)

Well, it does.

I love dancing movies. I love watching dancing. And back in the day, I loved to dance too (I still would love to, as long as it doesn’t involve pulling any muscles). I just love it. It makes me happy.

Even though I love dancing, I have NO rhythm. Whatsoever. My husband has LOTS of rhythm, but hates to dance. How does that work out.

Anyway, one of my favorite scenes in a movie is from Hitch. I have even tried to replicate the steps. In the safety of my own home of course. With the blinds closed. I just think it is SO fun 🙂

My husband loves me. And because of that, he danced to a “fast” dance with me at our wedding. Which I LOVED, and he hated. He only did it for me, which makes me love it that much more. I really wanted our wedding to be unique, and to have dancing. We def. had dancing, and it was so much fun. But I have to say, this couple has shown us how it is done. I think this is so great and burst into laughter every time I see it! Enjoy 🙂

(by the way, be prepared to laugh…loudly!)

Monday, Monday, da da, da da da da

I really don’t know if the “da da”s are right for the lyrics of that song. Oh well. It fits…for me at least. This post is basically just going to be bullets points of the weekend/day to save me (and most definitely you) from having to type out tons of paragraphs 🙂

• This past weekend was Girls’ Weekend in Gatlinburg. Katie Beth and myself have not seen each other in months. And because she just got back from an amazing three month trip to Italy, it was about time we played catch up! (Pictures to come later, but not very many b/c I am a horrible photographer apparently!)
• I got some really great pin striped pants from the Banana Republic outlet store. They are a tad too big and a tad too long, but hey, I figure it is better than a tad too tight!
• Tim and I had a great night last night. When I got home he talked me into going to the gym with him. I agreed, but only because I could walk on the tredmill and get by pretty easy. We got there, and no joke, the darn thing wouldn’t turn on. So, I did 20 minutes on the olyptical. My legs were like jello later on! (I am SO out of shape)
• Tim and I, along with the rest of our Community Group, are going through a marriage work book. It is pretty interesting. We will see how it goes. More than anything, I am enjoying sitting down with Tim and going through it together.
• I wore my hair wavy today. I hardly ever do, but I like it 🙂 
• My driver’s side window on my car has great difficulty rolling back up at times if you choose to roll it down (it is electric). This morning I swung by Pal’s to get some sweet tea and a sausage biscuit. I am lazy and it is cold, so I decided to risk it and just roll down the window. Yeah, it didn’t roll back up. So I had to make the thirty minute drive w/ the window down, with it snowing and the temperature at 19 degrees! Holy cow! Thankfully I got it to roll back up around 10 this morning.
• Talked to Bethany today about Interim Care. Not that we will be choosing this any time soon, just looking at our options. (No, we are not serious enough right now to set up any appointments. The building I work in has a Bethany office, so I see them every day. Just a convenient chat 🙂
• Going to the doctor today to get my second round of Hep. B shots for our Ethiopia trip in June 🙂
• I am really starting to get worried about my memory. I seem to have no short term memory. But then I can remember some of the most random things to the detail. It is really odd. And embarrassing at times.

Ok, I think that is all I have going on right now! Busy, busy! But fun times!

How was your weekend/Monday?

Why you should be very afraid of the dentist…or who knows, maybe you will love the dentist…