This day has just greeted me with a whole lotta chaos! During this week one of our top sales reps had to go out of town for a family emergency. With me being the promotions director/ SALES ASSISTANT and all, it was my duty to check her email and do whatever needed to be done while she was gone. I will not go into all of the drama (if there is any, maybe it is just in my own mind), insecurities, frustrations, or anything else. I will just skip to the part where I found out someone else was asked to fill that duty as well. Someone who used to have my job. I got a little ticked off when I found out. My pride was hurt and I was bitter. Anyway, since I knew someone else was checking the email too, I didn’t really make it top priority to check it. Wrong move. You see, this sales rep is probably our top sales rep. In the two days I missed checking the email, several orders came in that needed to be confirmed. Dang it! I dropped the ball. I walked in this morning to the other person fixing it all with one of my managers. Ouch. Why do I let my pride get in my way?

This whole ordeal has shown me something that I think I have seen coming for quite awhile now. For some reason (MY PRIDE) I have a hard time admitting I am wrong or I have messed up. I messed up at work and immediately wanted to blame it on other things. This will surely prove to be a learning experience that will hurt. I want to not be this way. I want to not mess up, wouldn’t that be convenient. I want to not let my own thoughts, opinions, insecurities, pet peeves, frustrations, or anything else get in the way of my responsibilities. Whether that be responsibilities at work, in relationships, or with my own self.

This is something that you can help me on. Ask me about it. Don’t be shy. It’ll only help.

One other thing that doesn’t help is everyone seeming like they are mad at me b/c I screwed up. They are probably acting the same as they always do, just today I am taking it personally. Isn’t it funny how we can make ourselves think/feel a certain way b/c of our insecurities. Funny nothing!