I have just started discovering in the past year or two that I do not really know who I am. I do not know what I like to do, wear, listen to, participate in, support, whatever. I know that sounds really strange, but I really don’t. You see, I struggle with three things that keep me from this: being self centered, focusing on what everyone else likes (maybe if I like or do those things too, they will like me), and I really lack motivation. Also, I will fixate on another person who I really like/respect/see that everyone else likes and think about how I can be more like them. I do not live my own life!! So, now I am trying to figure out what I like to do with my time and energy. One thing that I truly desire to change is my relationship with the Lord (so cliche). I hardly ever focus on Him. And when I do, it is mostly self-centered. I want activities that I really enjoy and love. I want causes that I am passionate about. I am not really sure what all I am trying to get out right now. I just catch myself reading other people’s blogs and thinking about how great they are and the great life they must lead. But they are just normal, like me. They are just living their life as it comes to them. So, I am going to go home and spend time with my husband (who by the way is one thing/person that I know that I love so much) and our dogs. We will hang out on our new couch that we bought from Big Lots (but you can’t tell!) and watch the series of Die Hard that I bought him for Christmas. I can get so bored with things, I should learn to appreciate them!

By the way, I have just started to teach myself how to knit. I am knitting my sister a scarf for her birthday present. I really like stuff like this, but again have never been fully motivated to learn how to do it. I would love how to sew, bake, knit, and all! Someone told me the other day that I am a hippie at heart, and I loved it!

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