Here's a little of me

not getting along so well

Jessica — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:14:08 +0000

As a teenager and even early 20-something I always would say, “I just don’t get along with other girls”. I thought that I was just a girl who did better with guy friends. Truth be told, I didn’t really care much about having guys as friends as much as receiving the attention they gave me. I just said I liked them as friends to justify it all in my own mind. But as I have gotten older, I have heard it come from the mouths of other girls too. It apparently is a pretty common statement. And yes, there are aspects of relationships with other women that are just not appealing. I for some reason always compare how I look to them (i.e. makeup, clothes, body, etc), there is usually more drama, you never really know what the other girl thinks of something or you don’t think you can speak your own mind, so on and so on. But I really don’t think those are the reasons I have stayed away from friendships with other females all of those years.

I in no way can speak for other women who have made the above statement, but I really do believe I have pursued friendships/relationships with guys more than girls because I felt more secure with myself… I was more affirmed (in a not so healthy way). I also stayed away from challenging the lies in my own head that I am not good enough, or even avoided challenging myself to be better. You see, in the past probably four or five years I have been pulled away from close relationships with men (besides with Tim, and he is seriously my best friend) due to being married. I was really lonely in the first couple of years of marriage b/c I did not know how to invest in relationships with other women. I literally would beg God to send me women to be friends with. And finally, after a couple of years, He answered my prayer (in HIS perfect timing).

Over the past couple of years I have really developed new friendships with other women. And honestly, they are completely different than relationships with guys. In no way am I stating that any past friendships with guys were not good, just different. Friendships with other women have challenged me to get over myself, to realize the purpose of the friendship is not to uplift my ownself, to learn how to really affirm one another in a way that has no hidden agenda, to be able to spur one another on to be better and it always be considered appropriate. I am a totally self-centered person a lot of the time. These new friendships have forced me to be even more real with myself and with others. Now, I might be a little too real at times, but I am SO much more comfortable with who I am. And yes, since beginning this season there has been drama, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, insecurities and so much more; but I have for some reason also been pushed to work through them moreso than ever before. I am thankful for every bit of that drama b/c it has made me better. I am becoming more secure in my Saviour than in myself or what someone else can offer me.

So, if you are a female and think you just can’t get along with other girls, I would like to challenge you to look deeper to find out why. Are you just allowing yourself to live in your own insecurities? Are you living a life unchallenged? I know I have and still do, but I am working on it and am SO glad for every new friendship God has brought into my life.

I know this is all so random, but I read another blog today and just in passing she mentioned she just struggled to connect with other women. You may not be hiding from your fear of connecting with other women in seeking attention from other guys, but you may be hiding from it in taking care of the details or just immersing yourself in the life of your kids. That is wonderful to be super involved with your kids, most definitely. But they also need to see you living out healthy friendships with others if they are ever going to know how to invest in others as well.

Also, this whole “seeking attention from guys” thing is something I dealt with in my past, hardcore. But, the Lord has saught me out, opened my eyes and healed me from it, mostly with a stubborn, thick skinned husband who loves me SO much and is unbelieveably loyal. He has allowed me to talk through this struggle and even prayed over me about it. For that I am incredibily thankful to be released from that stronghold. HE truly is good and faithful.

Oh the nesting phase

Jessica — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 18:40:51 +0000

I don’t know why, but I assumed when everyone spoke of this “nesting phase” of pregnancy that I would also get a burst of energy with it. So not true. I have not been able to keep myself from cleaning and organizing, but I am also pretty exhausted from it all. Also, to add to my new obsession, who thought it was a good idea to make Pinterest crazy popular during my pregnancy?! I can’t get enough! I finally told myself I had to STOP buying organizing materials (but I haven’t really stopped, I just tell myself that to feel better).

To name a few of the things I have done (and those inspired by Pinterest will be linked):

Clean and organize the refrigerator
Take everything out of my kitchen cabinets & then reorganize it all (which includes multiple smaller projects)
Clean out the junk room & turn it into the nursery
Clean out my clothing closet, multiple times
Bathe, dry & brush my dogs (all while 8.5 months pregnant)
Fix the kitchen sink plumbing (again, 8.5 months pregnant)
Clean & organize the entire basement, which has been my husband’s work out/storage/junk area for about a year
Make my own laundry detergent
Make 1/2 of the Christmas gifts we gave
Sew the curtains for the nursery
Do all of the normal “get the nursery ready” tasks
Rearrange our bedroom furniture
Sketch out a new furniture floor plan for every room in our house
Clean out hall closet to make mini-mudroom
I have also started cooking a lot more

Folks, it is getting out of control. Goodwill LOVES me right now. Or thinks I am crazy. Maybe both. I still plan on scrubbing both bathrooms, clean and reorganize my laundry closet, organize the upstairs closet, rearrange the loft (where my home office will be – that’s right, I am going to start working from home!), clean the kitchen REALLY well, scrub all floors and probably a lot more. Oh yeah, and I have only three weeks to go. We’ll see how that goes. And before you wonder where my husband is during all of this, he is usually at work when I decide I want to do another task and I don’t want to wait on him. He doesn’t mind.

I will take pictures of the nursery and put those up in the next week or so. A big nursery reveal should be loads of fun

And just because posts are more fun with pictures, here is one of my refrigerator after I organized it.

what do you crave?

Jessica — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:40:45 +0000

One of the most common questions I have been asked is, “What do you crave?”. I honestly didn’t believe I have craved much. I have wanted a burger or steak maybe once or twice, even wanted carrots at one point, but nothing consistent… or so I thought.

Recently I have been drinking more milk than I normally do, but I just chalked that up to being ~~lazy~~ exhausted during my third trimester and eating cereal rather than cook anything. But I have also been drinking milk with my dinner each night and almost cried once because I wanted chocolate milk (ridiculous I know). I thought maybe I might be craving milk, but didn’t really think much about it. Until today.

I am a pretty lazy person when it comes to research so the reading I have done about pregnancy has been either through my friends answering texts or from the weekly updates sent via e-mail from BabyCenter.com. I figure in the old days they just had each other to learn all about pregnancy so I really have one up on moms from 50 years ago… right?

Anyway, I get my weekly e-mails every Thursday. When reading today’s update (I am 29 weeks ya’ll!) I read that this kid is sucking 250 milligrams of calcium out of me each day. I am waiting for my hip to break while just sitting here typing this due to my bones no longer getting any calcium. Not really, I am just being overly dramatic. What? I am pregnant…. and me.

So yeah, I would say that I have had a craving during this pregnancy: milk… and cheese. (Side note/tangent: Could I be anymore obsessed with cheese? I won’t go to Cootie Brown’s until after I am pregnant just b/c avoiding the place all together is as far as my discipline goes in not eating their Blue Cheese Chips – apparently you are not supposed to eat Blue Cheese while preggers. If I went there to eat dinner, I would undoubtedly just say, “Screw it, I am ordering some”. Sorry mom, I know that was crude).

What about you? What were/are your cravings?

I can see!

Jessica — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:25:02 +0000

Oh how wonderful are all of the many changes pregnancy brings to a woman’s body! Um, kidding. They are not all wonderful, but not too bad. Definitely worth the outcome! One of the crazy changes I had was to my vision. I just got new glasses last October, and then when I got pregnant started getting awful headaches. I stopped wearing my glasses for a day or so, and although my vision was not repaired, no more headaches. I was told my several women not to get my glasses fixed because my vision could go back after pregnancy. So that is just great. I sit at a computer all day, and have to have fuzzy vision. No headaches, but my ability to see is that of a slightly intoxicated person.

In the past couple of weeks my vision is increasingly getting worse, still w/o the headaches. So today I have decided to give the glasses another go. I can see clearly again! But… I have had the glasses on for an hour and already feel a headache starting in the back of my eyeballs and spreading. Has anyone else had changes like this? I know about the shoe size changes, but my vision. Come on now!

Again, it is all worth it if I get my little guy. I am loving feeling him kick and get the hiccups. He has only had them a couple of times now, but so cute! Also, I found this little hat for him since he will be born in the midst of winter. I seriously can barely contain myself every time I see it Don’t you just love it?!

a bit freaked out

Jessica — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:32:39 +0000

You may have to get used to me posting a couple of times in one sitting. I go through times of not feeling like posting, then BAM, one day I feel like it. So there you go.

I just wanted to be sure to record on here how FREAKED OUT Tim is over there being a human in my belly. (Every time I say that phrase I think of this guy – Don’t click that if you are easily grossed out). Did I tell you (I forget everything these days) the other night we were eating dinner and I pulled up my shirt a bit to rub my very full belly, to which Tim responded with, “Can you please not do that while I am eating?!”. To say I was a bit shocked would be an understatement. Of course though I thought it was pretty funny too. Hey, some women may get offended, but I don’t for three reasons: 1) I know my husband loves me and would never want to intentionally hurt my feelings, 2) for some crazy reason I have not had mood swings, am not overly-emotional or hormonal feeling & 3) I also know that my husband says things at times with out thinking about all of the meanings that could come with his words. He ended up admitting that he thinks it is really weird that I have a human in my belly. I asked if that was part of the reason he wasn’t ever excited to feel the baby kick and he said yes.

Another night I could visibly see my belly jump when Jet moved around. I called Tim over there to see and he freaked out again. Is that normal? I have been told that fathers don’t really connect with the baby until he is holding said baby in his arms… but to be freaked out? I am not concerned at all, just curious. Tell me what you think here.

And because pictures are always fun, here I am at 26 weeks:

I failed miserably…

Jessica — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 21:12:04 +0000

Did I tell you that I failed my glucose/sugar test? Because I did. And when I fail something, apparently I fail it real good. They don’t like for your level to be above 135, well I was 176. Yikes. And it totally surprised me b/c I am measuring exactly where I should be (weight gain wise) and have really tried to eat healthy… well healthier than I usually do. I am definitely not one of those pregnant women who eat half a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts late at night. Believe me, I wish I wanted to, but this kid is apparently a health nut. So instead of Krispy Kreme, I crave carrots. Not even joking.

Since I failed the one-hour test (I fasted for two hours, drank a nasty glucose drink, then had my blood drawn), I had to go back for the 3-hour test. If you don’t know what this one is, then let me tell you: I was not able to eat after 8 PM last night (what about my 10:00 snack people?!) until about 11:30 this morning. That is over 15 hours! At 8 this morning I had my blood drawn and drank the nasty drink again, then I had to wait an hour to have my blood drawn again, and then again, and then again. My blood was drawn 4 times in 3 hours, and I hadn’t eaten in 15 hours. And I am pregnant. I am not exaggerating when I say I almost passed out around Noon today. I was sweating and shaky and weak. So I ate some good ole Barberito’s (and throw in there a Snickers Ice Cream bar…. and maybe a cookie) and then took a nap. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now, but it was rough there for a bit.

Still waiting to hear if I failed again. Really hoping the first one was a fluke. I’ll let you know on that one.

I will leave you with a recent favorite photo. My family all met up in Gatlinburg last week. Tim and me had a picture with my two younger sisters. Tim put his hand on my belly mainly to hold me upright. I seriously tripped and almost fell down several times that day. But in the end I loved how sweet it looked in the photo and declared that was our maternity session

praying for the little one

Jessica — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:38:36 +0000

To be completely and totally in love with Jesus Christ
For his health
That I might serve him well as his Momma
For his future bride
For the teenage years…
For his relationship with his Daddy
That he would feel loved & safe
That he would desire to love and serve others well
For wisdom
For patience
For sanity
For godly friends
For a godly mentor that will pour into his life
That he would search for the will of God in his life and go after it daily

I know there is much more that I am not thinking of or will add to this later on. Just wanted to document this now

the little dude

Jessica — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:55:44 +0000

I know, I know. I go probably four months with out posting and here I am getting all wild & crazy posting not once, but TWICE in one afternoon. I am too much for my own good.

I just wanted to give a little update on the little dude. First off, while I don’t really want to put his full name on here, I will let you know that his nickname (from his initials) is JET. I am really excited about it b/c 1) it’s original & 2) what little boy wouldn’t want such a fun nickname?! Anyway, that is what I will refer to him on here, just so you know.

Since revealing his nickname to some friends, one of them vowed to sing songs when she sees me with the word “Jet” in them. I didn’t think about it until then, but one of my favorite songs growing up was Benny & the Jets, so I adore this idea

I am now 25 weeks along and feeling great. Honestly the only thing that is uncomfortable is how sore my belly and…. other parts of me are at times. I am a little worried about when this kid (yeah, I call him that too) gets a little bigger in my belly b/c he is a mover & a shaker. Seriously, this kids loves to dance. And did I mention he seems to be a night owl too? Because he is. He doesn’t seem to want to kick like crazy during the day so others can feel it, no… that would prove to be too much for him. He likes to just hang out with me apparently (which I will admit I am already kind of loving!). Starting around 10 PM most nights you would think he had a trampoline in my belly. Oh wait, he does: my bladder. I can seriously sit and watch my belly move up and down. I just hope he is able to move less when he gets a bit bigger. I felt him kick my rib the other day. It has started already.

Okay, okay. It sounds like I am complaining. I really am not. I LOVE it. I love getting to have him all to myself right now. I just wish I could see his little face. I adore this little one and am in love already. I seriously cannot wait to hold him and love on him. Even more so, I can’t wait to see his daddy hold him I have a feeling there is nothing hotter than a daddy holding and loving on his baby. Does that sound weird? Whatever.

Anyway, get ready for more updates on here. I live at least 300 miles from all of the family (on my side) so I will be posting on here to keep them updated on what is going on with the little one. Oh, and he is the first grandchild so you know he will be spoiled! I have lived here for 7 years with my parents visiting maybe once a year. Now they plan on visiting multiple times. Not because of me, because of him. Since they usually take us out to eat and spoil us while they are here I won’t be too jealous. Maybe.

not so fun new diet

Jessica — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:38:40 +0000

So I bombed my sugar/glucose test that pregnant women take around 24 weeks along. My doctor said they don’t like to see levels above 135, and I am at 176. Yikes. I am doing well with weight gain, apparently though most of it is from carbs and sweets. So now I have to cut back on carbs and sweets, which probably take up about 3/4 of my diet. I am not going to lie, I have never had to watch what I eat before so I have absolutely no discipline in this. I am dreading having to do the research on what I should and shouldn’t eat and then incorporating that into my meal planning. I hate meal planning to begin with.

That was until I found this site (wow this sounds like an endorsement. Really it is just me rejoicing b/c I get to still be lazy). This woman is amazing and has provided 36 months… wait a sec, read that again please so you can fully grasp what I am saying here: THIRTY-SIX MONTHS of meal planning, breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner, all low-carb. She also has recipes for every single item on her site. She has been doing this since 2002 and continuously updates with new recipes. I just wanted to take a moment and share in my new found ~~way to be lazy~~ goodness!

With out further ado, HERE is her site. Enjoy

reading to the babe

Jessica — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 14:55:14 +0000

On my weekly baby updates I get in my inbox, I am told that if I were to start talking to my baby now (16 weeks) the baby should be able to hear me. This is also a way for Mom and Dad to feel more connected to the baby. Am I the only one who feels awkward talking to my belly? I suddenly feel like Ross from Friends. You know, b/c he thought the whole concept was absurd… at first.

I tried to talk to the babe while folding laundry but had no clue what to say. If you know me, this is an uncommon occurrence for me. One that I didn’t much care for. So, I have decided that I am going to try to read to the bundle of joy (wait, is it the baby considered that yet when it is yet to be out of the womb and unable to be “bundled”?) to make up for this sudden lack of wordage. I have a couple of books that I know I will read (I love you to the moon and back, Oh the places you will go, oh yeah, the Bible) but I wanted to get feedback from you.

What are some books from your childhood that you loved? Or books you have read to your kiddos? Oh, also include books that I can read during pregnancy that the pictures don’t necessarily matter, but they won’t drive me crazy