Latest Entries »

I think I am sort of a hippy at heart and just don’t know how to do it. I grew up in a home where everything was provided for me without me having to work much at all for it. Boy was I spoiled (and a brat). At least I know it now and can grow from it. :) My parents, bless their hearts, wanted to provide and give us everything we could ever want and they worked their tails off and sacrificed a lot for us kids… only to have us become horrid (at least the girls, Josh was always the favorite) teenagers. I never got into major trouble, but I was most certainly entitled and ungrateful. (I already know now my mom will comment here or on Facebook about this).

Wait a minute… I was going to talk about babywearing.

Anywho… back to being a hippy and not knowing how. I want to be a hippy I think. And not the wearing rainbows, free loving kind, but the grow my own food, be a stay-at-home mom, buy local produce, cook my own healthy food, cloth diapers, sewing loving and wear my babies kind. I just don’t know how. Also, I am extremely a bit lazy.

Lately, I have really wanted to start utilizing my baby sling my very sweet friend made for me. I haven’t used it a ton lately, my son is 15 months old and not super used to it. Also, it hurts my shoulders and back because I have not gradually built those muscles as he grows like I have with my arms. I have been dealing with a lot of guilt lately because Jet (my kiddo) plays by himself a lot. We have play dates, go to the park, read to him a TON and play with him as well, but I feel like when I am moving around the house I would rather be having face-to-face time with him more often (not all of the time).

I know what you are thinking: “That child is going to be awful or a momma’s boy”. Well to the first, he is not awful. He is super happy and we get the comment “He is such a happy baby”  so often that I have wondered if it is common for babies to be depressed or in full blown trantrums 90% of the time. To the second, he has been called a momma’s boy, to my face, a couple of times before. At first I was offended. Then, I thought, “You know what, I am ok with that. In my line of work (social work) I have seen this is sorely lacking in our world”. So, say what you want, I am ok with that. My boy is happy and well loved. Ok, sorry for the rant. Again, not defensive  just well thought out. Jeez with the rants already!

I really like the ring slings because they seem the most practical and the easiest to carry around. Oh, not the no-sew ones though because that does NOT seem practical to have to re-thread it each time if you are on the go. I am youtubing it up trying to learn different holds and ways to use the ring sling. I am excited. I want a couple of different ring slings, instead of just the one I have now. It is looking like I am going to make them since they are usually around $100 to buy new (seriously!).  It will probably be a little bit though because the bobbin on my sewing machine hates me and even though I am threading it EXACTLY like the youtube videos say (see a trend here?), it’s answer is still “Nope, not this time”. We are taking a break from each other now in an effort for me to not thrown the dang thing out my really high upstairs window.

What are your thoughts on babywearing? Any suggestions on type of fabric to use? Have any of you used the ring sling and have any thoughts? And can anyone fix my bobbin? Please?

This is a draft of a post I for some reason never posted. I wrote it almost two years ago and it is just too good to not share. Enjoy :)

Sometimes I am pretty lazy when Tim gets up and starts roaming around the house. I just try to listen to what he is getting into. One night I was laying in bed while he was in the bathroom and I hear him drop something small and plastic onto the sink. I quickly realize he is trying to put in his contacts. I guess he was just slipping into his morning routine… only at 1 AM (side note: I wonder if he is sleepwalking some mornings when he gets up and that’s why he gets so irritable with me). I knew this would never be good, so I rush in there and tell him to put down his contact case and come back to bed. He gets ticked off at me (which he normally does while sleepwalking and I prevent him from doing something he is trying to do) but does as I ask.

I get back to bed before him. When I see him coming back into the bedroom he has my glasses on. Now this is hilarious to me for two reasons: 1) he has glasses on that are noticeably feminine; 2) he is blind as a bat and what I see is barely fuzzy. There is no way my glasses are doing anything for him. So I asked him, “Why do you have my glasses on?” He said he couldn’t find his own and mine were right there. This is very suspicious to me since I know that I left mine on my bedside table. Since the bathroom is on his side of the bed that meant he got up, came to my side of the bed to get my glasses, and then walked back to the bathroom. There is no logic to this to me. So I asked him if they were actually doing anything for him (oh yeah, I can have a full conversation with him in his sleep… no one would really know he was sleepwalking but me b/c he looks totally awake). At that point, he gets mad takes them off and comes back to bed. Aaand now he is done talking with me.

I used to lay there confused staring at him, but now I usually just have a laugh and go back to sleep. It is always followed by us waking up in the morning and me asking, “Do you remember anything from last night?” That is just never a good question to be asked. Do you see what I am dealing with here? I swear, when we have kids, between them and Tim I will never get to sleep.

Mommy and JET

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

As a teenager and even early 20-something I always would say, “I just don’t get along with other girls”. I thought that I was just a girl who did better with guy friends. Truth be told, I didn’t really care much about having guys as friends as much as receiving the attention they gave me. I just said I liked them as friends to justify it all in my own mind. But as I have gotten older, I have heard it come from the mouths of other girls too. It apparently is a pretty common statement. And yes, there are aspects of relationships with other women that are just not appealing. I for some reason always compare how I look to them (i.e. makeup, clothes, body, etc), there is usually more drama, you never really know what the other girl thinks of something or you don’t think you can speak your own mind, so on and so on. But I really don’t think those are the reasons I have stayed away from friendships with other females all of those years.

I in no way can speak for other women who have made the above statement, but I really do believe I have pursued friendships/relationships with guys more than girls because I felt more secure with myself… I was more affirmed (in a not so healthy way). I also stayed away from challenging the lies in my own head that I am not good enough, or even avoided challenging myself to be better. You see, in the past probably four or five years I have been pulled away from close relationships with men (besides with Tim, and he is seriously my best friend) due to being married. I was really lonely in the first couple of years of marriage b/c I did not know how to invest in relationships with other women. I literally would beg God to send me women to be friends with. And finally, after a couple of years, He answered my prayer (in HIS perfect timing).

Over the past couple of years I have really developed new friendships with other women. And honestly, they are completely different than relationships with guys. In no way am I stating that any past friendships with guys were not good, just different. Friendships with other women have challenged me to get over myself, to realize the purpose of the friendship is not to uplift my ownself, to learn how to really affirm one another in a way that has no hidden agenda, to be able to spur one another on to be better and it always be considered appropriate. I am a totally self-centered person a lot of the time. These new friendships have forced me to be even more real with myself and with others. Now, I might be a little too real at times, but I am SO much more comfortable with who I am. And yes, since beginning this season there has been drama, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, insecurities and so much more; but I have for some reason also been pushed to work through them moreso than ever before. I am thankful for every bit of that drama b/c it has made me better. I am becoming more secure in my Saviour than in myself or what someone else can offer me.

So, if you are a female and think you just can’t get along with other girls, I would like to challenge you to look deeper to find out why. Are you just allowing yourself to live in your own insecurities? Are you living a life unchallenged? I know I have and still do, but I am working on it and am SO glad for every new friendship God has brought into my life.

I know this is all so random, but I read another blog today and just in passing she mentioned she just struggled to connect with other women. You may not be hiding from your fear of connecting with other women in seeking attention from other guys, but you may be hiding from it in taking care of the details or just immersing yourself in the life of your kids. That is wonderful to be super involved with your kids, most definitely. But they also need to see you living out healthy friendships with others if they are ever going to know how to invest in others as well.

Also, this whole “seeking attention from guys” thing is something I dealt with in my past, hardcore. But, the Lord has saught me out, opened my eyes and healed me from it, mostly with a stubborn, thick skinned husband who loves me SO much and is unbelieveably loyal. He has allowed me to talk through this struggle and even prayed over me about it. For that I am incredibily thankful to be released from that stronghold. HE truly is good and faithful.

Oh the nesting phase

I don’t know why, but I assumed when everyone spoke of this “nesting phase” of pregnancy that I would also get a burst of energy with it. So not true. I have not been able to keep myself from cleaning and organizing, but I am also pretty exhausted from it all. Also, to add to my new obsession, who thought it was a good idea to make Pinterest crazy popular during my pregnancy?! I can’t get enough! I finally told myself I had to STOP buying organizing materials (but I haven’t really stopped, I just tell myself that to feel better).

To name a few of the things I have done (and those inspired by Pinterest will be linked):

  • Clean and organize the refrigerator
  • Take everything out of my kitchen cabinets & then reorganize it all (which includes multiple smaller projects)
  • Clean out the junk room & turn it into the nursery
  • Clean out my clothing closet, multiple times
  • Bathe, dry & brush my dogs (all while 8.5 months pregnant)
  • Fix the kitchen sink plumbing (again, 8.5 months pregnant)
  • Clean & organize the entire basement, which has been my husband’s work out/storage/junk area for about a year
  • Make my own laundry detergent
  • Make 1/2 of the Christmas gifts we gave
  • Sew the curtains for the nursery
  • Do all of the normal “get the nursery ready” tasks
  • Rearrange our bedroom furniture
  • Sketch out a new furniture floor plan for every room in our house
  • Clean out hall closet to make mini-mudroom
  • I have also started cooking a lot more

Folks, it is getting out of control. Goodwill LOVES me right now. Or thinks I am crazy. Maybe both. I still plan on scrubbing both bathrooms, clean and reorganize my laundry closet, organize the upstairs closet, rearrange the loft (where my home office will be – that’s right, I am going to start working from home!), clean the kitchen REALLY well, scrub all floors and probably a lot more. Oh yeah, and I have only three weeks to go. We’ll see how that goes. And before you wonder where my husband is during all of this, he is usually at work when I decide I want to do another task and I don’t want to wait on him. He doesn’t mind.

I will take pictures of the nursery and put those up in the next week or so. A big nursery reveal should be loads of fun :)

And just because posts are more fun with pictures, here is one of my refrigerator after I organized it.

what do you crave?

One of the most common questions I have been asked is, “What do you crave?”. I honestly didn’t believe I have craved much. I have wanted a burger or steak maybe once or twice, even wanted carrots at one point, but nothing consistent… or so I thought.

Recently I have been drinking more milk than I normally do, but I just chalked that up to being lazy exhausted during my third trimester and eating cereal rather than cook anything. But I have also been drinking milk with my dinner each night and almost cried once because I wanted chocolate milk (ridiculous I know). I thought maybe I might be craving milk, but didn’t really think much about it. Until today.

I am a pretty lazy person when it comes to research so the reading I have done about pregnancy has been either through my friends answering texts or from the weekly updates sent via e-mail from BabyCenter.com. I figure in the old days they just had each other to learn all about pregnancy so I really have one up on moms from 50 years ago… right?

Anyway, I get my weekly e-mails every Thursday. When reading today’s update (I am 29 weeks ya’ll!) I read that this kid is sucking 250 milligrams of calcium out of me each day. I am waiting for my hip to break while just sitting here typing this due to my bones no longer getting any calcium. Not really, I am just being overly dramatic. What? I am pregnant…. and me.

So yeah, I would say that I have had a craving during this pregnancy: milk… and cheese. (Side note/tangent: Could I be anymore obsessed with cheese? I won’t go to Cootie Brown’s until after I am pregnant just b/c avoiding the place all together is as far as my discipline goes in not eating their Blue Cheese Chips – apparently you are not supposed to eat Blue Cheese while preggers. If I went there to eat dinner, I would undoubtedly just say, “Screw it, I am ordering some”. Sorry mom, I know that was crude).

What about you? What were/are your cravings?

I can see!

Oh how wonderful are all of the many changes pregnancy brings to a woman’s body! Um, kidding. They are not all wonderful, but not too bad. Definitely worth the outcome! One of the crazy changes I had was to my vision. I just got new glasses last October, and then when I got pregnant started getting awful headaches. I stopped wearing my glasses for a day or so, and although my vision was not repaired, no more headaches. I was told my several women not to get my glasses fixed because my vision could go back after pregnancy. So that is just great. I sit at a computer all day, and have to have fuzzy vision. No headaches, but my ability to see is that of a slightly intoxicated person.

In the past couple of weeks my vision is increasingly getting worse, still w/o the headaches. So today I have decided to give the glasses another go. I can see clearly again! But… I have had the glasses on for an hour and already feel a headache starting in the back of my eyeballs and spreading. Has anyone else had changes like this? I know about the shoe size changes, but my vision. Come on now!

Again, it is all worth it if I get my little guy. I am loving feeling him kick and get the hiccups. He has only had them a couple of times now, but so cute! Also, I found this little hat for him since he will be born in the midst of winter. I seriously can barely contain myself every time I see it :) Don’t you just love it?!

a bit freaked out

You may have to get used to me posting a couple of times in one sitting. I go through times of not feeling like posting, then BAM, one day I feel like it. So there you go.

I just wanted to be sure to record on here how FREAKED OUT Tim is over there being a human in my belly. (Every time I say that phrase I think of this guy – Don’t click that if you are easily grossed out). Did I tell you (I forget everything these days) the other night we were eating dinner and I pulled up my shirt a bit to rub my very full belly, to which Tim responded with, “Can you please not do that while I am eating?!”. To say I was a bit shocked would be an understatement. Of course though I thought it was pretty funny too. Hey, some women may get offended, but I don’t for three reasons: 1) I know my husband loves me and would never want to intentionally hurt my feelings, 2) for some crazy reason I have not had mood swings, am not overly-emotional or hormonal feeling & 3) I also know that my husband says things at times with out thinking about all of the meanings that could come with his words. He ended up admitting that he thinks it is really weird that I have a human in my belly. I asked if that was part of the reason he wasn’t ever excited to feel the baby kick and he said yes.

Another night I could visibly see my belly jump when Jet moved around. I called Tim over there to see and he freaked out again. Is that normal? I have been told that fathers don’t really connect with the baby until he is holding said baby in his arms… but to be freaked out? I am not concerned at all, just curious. Tell me what you think here.

And because pictures are always fun, here I am at 26 weeks:

Did I tell you that I failed my glucose/sugar test? Because I did. And when I fail something, apparently I fail it real good. They don’t like for your level to be above 135, well I was 176. Yikes. And it totally surprised me b/c I am measuring exactly where I should be (weight gain wise) and have really tried to eat healthy… well healthier than I usually do. I am definitely not one of those pregnant women who eat half a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts late at night. Believe me, I wish I wanted to, but this kid is apparently a health nut. So instead of Krispy Kreme, I crave carrots. Not even joking.

Since I failed the one-hour test (I fasted for two hours, drank a nasty glucose drink, then had my blood drawn), I had to go back for the 3-hour test. If you don’t know what this one is, then let me tell you: I was not able to eat after 8 PM last night (what about my 10:00 snack people?!) until about 11:30 this morning. That is over 15 hours! At 8 this morning I had my blood drawn and drank the nasty drink again, then I had to wait an hour to have my blood drawn again, and then again, and then again. My blood was drawn 4 times in 3 hours, and I hadn’t eaten in 15 hours. And I am pregnant. I am not exaggerating when I say I almost passed out around Noon today. I was sweating and shaky and weak. So I ate some good ole Barberito’s (and throw in there a Snickers Ice Cream bar…. and maybe a cookie) and then took a nap. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now, but it was rough there for a bit.

Still waiting to hear if I failed again. Really hoping the first one was a fluke. I’ll let you know on that one.

I will leave you with a recent favorite photo. My family all met up in Gatlinburg last week. Tim and me had a picture with my two younger sisters. Tim put his hand on my belly mainly to hold me upright. I seriously tripped and almost fell down several times that day. But in the end I loved how sweet it looked in the photo and declared that was our maternity session :)

praying for the little one

  • To be completely and totally in love with Jesus Christ
  • For his health
  • That I might serve him well as his Momma
  • For his future bride
  • For the teenage years…
  • For his relationship with his Daddy
  • That he would feel loved & safe
  • That he would desire to love and serve others well
  • For wisdom
  • For patience
  • For sanity
  • For godly friends
  • For a godly mentor that will pour into his life
  • That he would search for the will of God in his life and go after it daily

I know there is much more that I am not thinking of or will add to this later on. Just wanted to document this now :)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 179 other followers