thoughts on adoption & birth moms

I have heard people who are in the process of adopting say that they have received some nasty comments about what they were doing. I thought that was unbelievable and wondered why on earth any one would have something bad to say about this wonderful (and hard) process. But then, when I think about it, I remember that my family has received some pretty bad comments/reactions about adopting my two sisters. I will not go into why I believe these people have these comments, however, I do want to tell you a small piece of why I believe adoption is incredible/beautiful/important/needed/a miracle.

Brandon wrote a post about he and his wife’s adoption (they are on their way back from picking up their son now!). I kept trying to decide which part of his post would sum up what I think, but honestly, I think all of it is needed to show you how amazing adoption truly is. Please go read it.

I share an office with a Christian adoption agency. I love the people who work for this agency and truly believe they are doing what God has called them to do. These people put their heart and soul into taking care of these babies, and they love the families & birth moms they serve. One of the ladies was telling me how many horrible and nasty comments they get all of the time. Some are about them (i.e. you just buy babies and try to sell them) and some are about birth moms (i.e. I don’t see how anyone could call themselves a mom/woman if they give up their baby). I just want to say, while there may be many exceptions, there is a HUGE misconception about birth moms. They are NOT all women who are totally irresponsible and just want to continue a life of partying and a kid would only get in their way. Again, there are exceptions, but a lot of the birth moms I have met, this is not the case. These women see that they cannot provide the best life for this child and yearn for the child to grow up educated, safe, with plenty of food and clothing, and much more. These women are making a self-less decision to not think of themselves and how bad they will feel (because believe me, they DO feel for this child), rather they think of the child’s well-being. They are making the ultimate sacrifice. I more than likely COULD NOT ever make this decision, but that is NOT because I am a better person/mother than any of these birth moms. I would just never have the strength to do that.

Mark Schultz was adopted and once thought of his birth mom as someone who just gave him up. One night a friend told him something that would change his world:

I understand that there are a lot of people who are set in how they think/feel about the whole subject. I understand that I will probably step on some people’s toes. I won’t apologize, rather I will hope that if you are one of those people that we can one day chat about our views.

What’s on your mind?

I feel like I have a billion things going on right now. Work is crazy busy (and I LOVE it), school is intense and I get about one day a week to actually get to hang out with hubby. I have a lot going on needless to say, and with that, I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my noggin. Just wanted to list a few for ya to keep you updated

• I am a very fickle person. I mean, really. So now that I am in school, I kind of don’t want to be. I have really struggled with figuring out if I have made the wrong choice, whether I really want to be a teacher or not, or if I am just wanting to give up because it is hard (most likely the last one). Right now I am definitely staying in the program. I would have wasted a lot of money and let down a lot of people if I didn’t. Let me state that again, I AM staying in the program. This is just a thought process I have been going through lately.
• I think I have told just about everybody that Tim and I plan to grow our family through adoption. I really am only interested in being pregnant once. I want to experience it, and then be done with it. Also, there are 143 BILLION orphans in the world. That number is too great to not be a part of decreasing that number, even if it is just a little. Also, I really feel that if you are a Christian, you should AT LEAST consider adoption. After all, you have been adopted into the Kingdom of God. So, with all of that said, Tim and I are praying about starting the process, and soon. I can’t tell you how excited I am. I know that it will still be about three more years before we bring home baby, but just beginning the journey is an amazing feeling. I am on the road to my child. That just makes me want to scream with joy We will first adopt from the Philippines. That is why I say the process will most likely take about three years. That is about how long it takes right now from that country, and I am prepared for that. I hope I don’t go crazy! Please be praying for us on that subject.
• Can I just say that I LOVE my husband? Because I do. Because of certain events that have happened in our lives recently, he came to me the other day and said he wanted to be proactive about having a healthy marriage. He is great and has really followed through
• Please go check out the Real Hope For Haiti Rescue Center. They have an incredible ministry in Haiti. It is amazing what the Lord does through them. Right now, their funds are really low. They could use YOUR help. Please read over the blog and see what incredible things they do in Haiti and how they serve the people there. And, if you feel led, please donate to them. If you ever feel a calling to go serve the people of Haiti, they can hook you up. They love for volunteers to come and serve them.
• Loving reading the blogs of those who went on the Compassion International trip to El Salvador. If you have never considered/prayed about Compassion International’s Child Sponsorship Program (sponsors like you pay $38 (in the U.S.) to meet the physical and spiritual needs of school-aged kids) please do so NOW. You will be forever changed.
• Still keeping an open mind to serving young, possibly single mothers. It is amazing how so many opportunities have presented themselves in the past couple of weeks. I am excited to share in the near future.
• I am REALLY wanting to get more involved in serving my community. I love my church family and they present so many opportunities to do this. I am thinking the previous point will be my vehicle to achieving this. I just want to get to know the people I am basically doing life with every day and don’t even know their names. I want to get to know who they are, what makes them tick, what their passions are, what is going on in their lives.
• I have no idea when I will fit anything new into my life. I am SO busy all of the time. Any time I mention anything new to some of my close friends or Tim, they always ask when am I going to do that. Hopefully that will work itself out.
• I am HORRIBLE with time management. I am such a procrastinator. I mean, really. And what is ridiculous is I HATE that about myself, but I do nothing about it. I think I heard on Dr. Phil before that it is because I am so self-centered, which is true. I really hope I grow up in that department, and soon!
• I decided to take a break from Facebook for awhile. I did well, for one day. That evening I finally broke and got on. That was when I found out I had one friend that was pregnant and another having problems with her pregnancy. Look how much changes in that small amount of time. Needless to say, my very short break is over. Did I mention I don’t have much self-control either?

Okay, I think that is pretty much the jest of it. I am sure there is much more, but that is all I can think of for now.

Google Reader Overload

I just had 50 blog post that were marked unread in my Google Reader. Truthfully, I don’t have the time to catch up on those, nor the will. It doesn’t help that I just added like 5 Philippines Adoption Blogs. So even though I know I am missing out on a lot of really fun/great/inspiring info, I hit the “Mark All As Read” button. I feel better now. I am one of those people who HATE to have a full inbox. Or to have a ton of friends on Facebook or Twitter that I really don’t even know. I don’t like clutter. It makes me feel overwhelmed. Not that you really care about any of this, but I thought I would share anyway.

I hope your day is going a lot better than this post

How awesome is this?!

I love THIS

If you want to be a part of something similar, go HERE

In Christ Alone

I am really loving this song right now. Just wanted to share

Compassion International & Shaun Groves

Shaun Groves is leading a team on a Compassion International trip to El Salvador right now. A group of people will be meeting the children they sponsor, possibly for the first time. These people will see first hand the difference they are making in the life of someone else. These people will see first hand that they are a part of rescuing someone else from a life of poverty.

Shaun wrote a great blog post today about his trip. Check it out.

And if you are interested in releasing a child from poverty, GO HERE.

The cost is just $38 a month.

Just $38 per month connects you with a child in a loving relationship that will change his or her life — and yours!

• Exchange letters, photos, prayers.
• Become a friend.
• Provide opportunities for education, health and personal development.
• Most important, your child will learn about Jesus in a church-based program in his or her neighborhood.

$38 is really not a lot at all…to us that is. $38 for any one of these children could/would be life changing/saving. I can personally say that being a part of a little girl’s life, whom I have never met and yet still love, has been such an impact on my own life.

kind of wish I was known for something better…

People who know me well know that I DO NOT like feet. I think they are gross. So it is kind of ironic my blog is visited the most because of my stinkin (no pun intended) toe. That’s right! In the Blog Stats portion of my Dashboard, it states that the number one reason people are directed to my blog from a search engine is from the search “bruised toenail”. So I went to Google and searched for the same. My foot is the FIRST image that pops up! Seriously! At least my foot/toe is the least nasty looking thing on the screen Seems like there are a lot of people out there with hurt toes

Praying for Gideon

This morning, at this very moment, Gideon (who is 6 years old) has been in major surgery, to remove a brain tumor the size of an orange, for nearly two hours. The surgery will be approximately 7 hours (I think).

Last week, Gideon’s parents noticed he was sort of losing mobility. He was becoming wobbly and was struggling with motor skills a healthy 6-year old boy should not be struggling with. Finally, Halloween night, after consulting with a family friend, they decided to take Gideon to the hospital just to get things checked out. That visit changed the lives of the entire family. A CAT scan revealed a brain tumor the size of an orange. Gideon was rushed to a near by Children’s Hospital. Now, a week later, he is in surgery. The doctors are very optimistic. They believe the tumor to be benign and totally treatable. John, Gideon’s dad, said this morning in a Facebook message:

“For the last fifteen minutes, i’ve watched Shannon playing with Gideon. He is laughing and enjoying all the new toys. It is so good to hear him laugh.
This is hard….no doubt. Although the doctor is optimistic, there is a possibility that we never see Gideon like this again. The poor little guy has no idea what he’s in for tomorrow. We love him so much. I remember when we were picking out his name. One thing I didn’t want was for people to call him “Giddy”. Well, with a personality like his, the name is totally appropriate and I’m so happy for the these 6 years with my little Giddy.
This week has been some of the toughest days ever. Yet we have a great peace because we know Who is in charge of all of this. Shannon and I both feel as if God has been preparing us for this for many years. We both greatly desire for Gideon to get fully back to “normal” and to live a long productive life. But we know there is something even more important: that God will get glory!
Friends, none of what has happened this week to our family is a surpise to God. This is not a curse but rather a gift from a loving God. This ailment causes us to long for our real home, where there will never be any brain tumors or tears. This ailment remind us that God is in complete control. God could have prevented this tumor, but He didn’t. He gave us this gift so that He may get glory by pushing us closer to a closer dependence on Him. He is a good God.
Some of you reading this I know are not lovers the one true Sovereign God. We hope that our trial can be used as a means to bring you into a relationship with Him.
Some of you reading this I know have a hard time understanding or believing that God can be loving and still be behind this. I pray that our testimony may have a part to see Him as most loving when He causes us to be more satisfied in Him. He is more valuable than anything….even our children.
We love all of you. We so appreciate each one of you.”

I am amazed at this family’s faith. The whole way they have done nothing but point people to the Lord through this whole process. Also, witnessing the Church rally around them in prayer and support has been amazing as well. People who have never met Gideon have come to love him through prayer because of the LORD our GOD.

Please join with me this morning in praying for this baby boy and his family. He has three brothers and one sister at home missing their brother. I’ll keep you posted as they update us on the surgery. Gideon’s precious momma is also updating on her blog when she can.

Update from Gideon’s mom: “We just met with the Dr…they couldn’t have asked for a better surgery. There was no excess bleeding and they are pretty sure they got it all out! We should be able to see him within the hour. How great is our God?!?”

just wanna vent…

Man, I REALLY want a baby. We are NOT pregnant, or even trying. But I REALLY want a kid! Tim knows this. He has known it since the day we got married. I want children, and a lot of them (and now!). He said we need to wait five years, and I really believe that is a wise decision. But, oh my, my heart yearns for a child SO MUCH. I know that it is still years away before we have kids of our own, but for now, I think I am about to explode!

Okay, I don’t feel better now, but at least I got it out….

new ministry?

I really feel like the Lord has placed a burden on my heart to serve single mothers who live at or below poverty level. Still praying for what steps to take and who to talk to.

If anyone has experience working with these amazing women, please let me know. I would love to chat with you. You can e-mail me at jessicatrivette[at]gmail[dot]com.